101: Raising Kids Who Aren’t Entitled: The Power of Wealth with Purpose

Christopher Nelson: (0:00) Let's be real. (0:01) One of the greatest fears that wealth creators have, (0:04) but nobody is talking about, (0:07) is what if I raise my kids to be entitled jerks? (0:10) You're not alone. (0:11) I've had this same fear too.

(0:13) But what if this fear is actually a doorway to something more powerful? (0:18) In this episode, I am going to break down for you (0:21) how to not raise entitled kids (0:23) and leverage your wealth as a tool to build perspective, (0:27) to demonstrate empathy, (0:30) and to show them how it can be a tool of impact and change in the world. (0:34) Join me next. (0:42) Hello and welcome to Managing Tech Millions.

(0:44) I'm your host, Christopher Nelson. (0:46) Welcome to this episode where we're going to be diving (0:48) into this difficult topic of entitlement. (0:52) It's important that everybody who's listening understands, (0:55) and I've shared this before, (0:56) but if you're just listening in for the first time, (0:59) I didn't come from money.

(1:01) I came from a lower middle-class background (1:04) growing up in rural Northern California in a farming country. (1:07) My mom was a school teacher, public school teacher. (1:10) She did a little bit of private work, (1:13) but mostly as a public school teacher.

(1:15) And then my dad was in agricultural construction. (1:18) And not coming from money and then coming into wealth, (1:23) my greatest fear was that we're going to be raising these entitled brats, (1:27) these kids that were running around, demanding everything. (1:30) I want the latest iPad.

(1:32) Why can't you buy me this $4,000 bed set? (1:36) Just demanding things and wanting things, (1:39) but not having the experiences that we had. (1:41) Upon meeting my wife, who is the child of immigrants, (1:45) who her parents had to work very hard to provide for her family, (1:49) and they instilled that work ethic in my wife, Regine. (1:53) Again, she shared the same thing.

(1:56) So as we were sitting down as our sons, (1:58) we started thinking about this as they started turning six, seven, eight, (2:04) and they get to the stage where they're asking for more things. (2:08) And we wanted to be very responsible with the way that we raised them (2:12) and also very intentional. (2:13) What we realized is that this fuel, (2:16) this fear is actually a signal that says, (2:20) okay, I need to do something about it.

(2:22) What is fear? (2:23) A fear is a false expectation appearing real. (2:27) Meaning that the cement was still dry on our kids, right? (2:31) It wasn't set yet. (2:32) So there was an opportunity to make a change, to move forward.

(2:37) And I think that having that moment of realization (2:41) that you are clear where you came from, (2:45) and you're also clear on the purpose that you have for your money. (2:49) Now let's pause there for a second, (2:50) because maybe that's the question that you haven't answered. (2:54) Are you clear right now on what the purpose of your money is? (2:58) So for us, one of the things is I talk about the three Cs (3:03) that can be used for your money.

(3:05) Your money can be used for contribution, (3:07) your money can be used for creation, (3:09) or your money can be used for consumption. (3:12) Those are really the three Cs that really encompass (3:15) how your money can be used. (3:17) And I think for us, what we had been focused on for our kids (3:21) is we want our money, the legacy that we leave behind.

(3:25) And even how we leverage it today (3:27) is we want to try and minimize our consumption. (3:29) How do we minimize that footprint? (3:31) And how do we maximize contribution? (3:33) And that contribution could be buying investments for the family (3:36) that continues to contribute and grow the family wealth. (3:40) Or it can also be a contribution to society.

(3:43) How do we make things better? (3:46) And then creativity. (3:47) How do we disrupt things? (3:49) How do we make things, again, better? (3:51) Or how do we invent things? (3:52) And some of those things can be for pleasure or entertainment, (3:55) but they can also be for creating businesses, (3:59) creating jobs, and creating opportunities for people. (4:03) So we were very clear that we wanted our money (4:06) to be focused on contribution and creation.

(4:10) And we also wanted to minimize the consumption. (4:14) That really gave us a lens of when we wanted to eliminate entitlement, (4:20) we wanted to have conversations with our kids up front to say, (4:24) you know, this is not the purpose of our money. (4:27) If you're coming to me and saying, (4:29) I want a new iPad because I am your son.

(4:32) Well, that is something that we're not choosing to do with our money (4:36) because that's not a contribution. (4:38) That's not creation. (4:39) It's consumption.

(4:40) And again, I know there's a lot of gray area around that. (4:44) Like, do our kids have iPads? (4:46) Yes. (4:46) And we try to leverage those as tools that they can create with (4:50) and build with and grow with (4:52) and not just sit there in the corner and consume.

(4:55) So those are key things to understand. (4:57) But beyond what was happening in our house, (5:01) we wanted to do something that was more tangible, (5:04) that was more visceral for our children. (5:06) Because many times in this fight against entitlement, (5:09) we can be having conversations about money (5:12) and demonstrating things to our kids, (5:14) but we still live in this very amazing bubble (5:18) that is, you know, the United States, (5:20) that is a tech-centered world or different tech hubs.

(5:24) We made sure that this fear that we had of entitlement (5:28) was a call to leadership, (5:31) that we wanted to lead our families (5:32) and we wanted to direct them in a different direction. (5:36) We knew that we wanted to focus our wealth (5:39) on contribution creation, (5:41) and we wanted to talk about the fact that it's not, (5:44) our wealth is not for raw consumption. (5:47) Our wealth is not there to just be a pure benefit (5:50) for somebody to consume off of.

(5:53) So with that in mind, in 2023, (5:57) I was provided an opportunity (5:59) by a friend of mine named James Harrington. (6:02) And if you go back to the podcast, (6:04) James Harrington, who is the Chief Executive Officer (6:06) of the Ugandan Water Project, (6:08) he's a friend of mine. (6:10) We were marketing masterminds together (6:12) and became friends.

(6:13) And he put an invite to come with him (6:17) with a group of adults to go to Uganda (6:19) to learn about water poverty. (6:23) I took that invitation to my wife. (6:26) And it was at that moment we had this epiphany (6:29) with our sons being, you know, nine and 10 years old.

(6:34) We made the decision that it was time to expose them (6:38) to a different world, a different reality. (6:43) And that was to take them to Uganda, (6:46) to teach them about water poverty, (6:50) and to also show them what it means (6:52) to contribute to a cause, right? (6:56) Sometimes it's easy, and James shared with us this book, (7:01) you know, it was Giving Without, (7:05) I can't remember the title. (7:06) Oh, Helping Without Hurting was the name of the title, (7:09) where it really talks about the fact (7:11) that when you go on service trips, (7:13) that the goal is to become educated (7:16) on what are some of the problems, (7:18) to actually engage and get to know the local people, (7:22) create friendships, (7:24) and then also contribute to some of the solutions.

(7:27) Not thinking that we're going to be some sort of savior (7:31) or we're, you know, overtaking something, (7:34) but we're essentially trying to contribute to a solution. (7:37) So we chose this trip in November of 2023 (7:41) to pull our boys out of school (7:43) and to go have this experience in the middle of Africa. (7:47) It was also an exciting time for the family (7:49) because my wife and I being well-traveled (7:51) had been to, except for Antarctica, (7:54) had been to most of the other continents, (7:55) and this was the continent that none of us (7:57) had ever been to.

(7:58) So as a family, we had the opportunity (8:00) to plant the flag and say, (8:01) we're all going to Africa together for the first time. (8:05) So we chose this trip (8:06) because we knew that it was going (8:08) to get all of us uncomfortable, (8:10) expose us to a completely different environment, (8:13) to learn about water poverty, (8:15) which is, you know, something that is prevalent (8:18) in a large part of the world today (8:20) is access to clean water. (8:22) And it was going to open the eyes of our boys (8:25) and create change in them.

(8:27) So we went on this 12-day trip (8:29) where there was the opportunity (8:31) to go and meet other students. (8:34) We did a rainwater recapture project (8:37) that was in the middle of a school, (8:39) and the boys had a chance to meet students (8:41) that were their age. (8:42) In Uganda, the language of Uganda, (8:44) the national language is English.

(8:46) So there was the opportunity for the boys (8:48) to converse with other kids. (8:51) And they could also then see us create (8:55) and build the solution to the water problem (8:59) that they have. (9:00) The boys had the opportunity to go fetch water, (9:02) meaning that they filled up these five-gallon jerry cans (9:07) that they walked around a quarter of a mile (9:10) downhill on the way there, (9:12) filled up these cans uphill on the way back (9:15) with these other students.

(9:16) And these students going to a private school (9:18) would lose roughly three hours a day (9:21) because they would have to fetch water three times a day. (9:24) So what was the result? (9:26) What do we get out of this? (9:28) Well, one of the things is that these boys (9:31) created friends there, (9:32) people that they could relate to, play with, (9:36) and they could empathize with their situation. (9:40) They were sad.

(9:41) I interviewed some of my sons. (9:42) Some of them said, I was sad for my friends. (9:45) Other, you know, one of my sons poignantly said (9:47) like he was angry.

(9:48) He was angry at the fact that they could not have (9:51) the solution that we had. (9:53) You know, he's very, you know, angry in the sense that, (9:55) you know, he wanted to fight. (9:58) He wanted to do something about it, (10:00) which was very endearing.

(10:03) And the interesting thing is that now post that trip, (10:08) all of the boys wanted to contribute more for impact, (10:12) whether it was raising funds (10:14) for the Ugandan Water Project (10:16) or whether it was the opportunity to return to Uganda (10:20) to be able to help again. (10:23) So on this trip, (10:26) there was the opportunity to learn about (10:29) the solutions that Ugandan Water Project provided, (10:33) but there was also the opportunity to tour (10:35) and understand who were the people (10:37) that they wanted to serve next. (10:40) And there was a very poignant afternoon (10:42) where we went on a trip (10:46) with the UWP leadership team.

(10:49) So the Ugandans who are leading this company (10:52) in Uganda took us to a few different sites (10:55) to see if they would be sites (10:57) that they would invest in, right? (11:00) They would take contributions from donors (11:02) and they would go to solve their water problems. (11:05) Because sometimes, you know, like any other business, (11:08) you want to try and understand (11:09) what is the ability to be successful. (11:12) And we went to a school (11:14) where the boys were playing in the afternoon.

(11:17) They were meeting friends. (11:19) They had, you know, some nice time (11:21) to really create some bonds with these boys. (11:23) We evaluated the situation.

(11:26) And when we got onto the van, (11:29) you know, James Harrington turned to us (11:31) and he said, you know, these people are on the list, (11:33) but they're far down on the list. (11:35) I don't know if we're gonna be able to help these people, (11:38) like within the next year, (11:39) whether we're gonna be able to solve their water problem. (11:43) And it was at that moment that I turned, (11:45) you know, to my boys and I saw one of them, (11:47) you know, getting misty, (11:48) another one that was crying (11:50) because they had seen in the other school the solution.

(11:56) They saw the joy that it brought. (11:59) They understood the challenge of fetching the water. (12:02) And now they realize that help may not come here, (12:08) or it may be a long time in the waiting.

(12:10) And that struck them emotionally. (12:13) It created this very empathetic moment. (12:16) And it was for me at this moment that I realized (12:19) this is the purpose for the trip, right? (12:23) Is to really help the boys understand that (12:26) there is the ability to create an impact (12:30) with charitable giving, with responsible organizations, (12:35) and actually by going out and doing some of the work yourself, (12:39) right, you can create impact.

(12:41) Or you can create impact by being a donor. (12:44) Ultimately as a group, we came back with the adults (12:48) and later on that night, we decided to pass the hat (12:51) and actually fund the project for that specific school (12:54) because we wanted to solve that problem, (12:57) which, you know, was again another opportunity (13:00) to show and demonstrate to the boys (13:02) that there's opportunities to contribute together (13:06) to have people come and solve (13:08) some of these real world problems. (13:10) So the reality is, (13:12) is that wealth should allow you to do more, right? (13:17) The goal of wealth for us and our family is (13:20) how can it not just serve our family, (13:23) but how can it actually create an impact in the world? (13:26) And how do we bring our children along for this mission (13:31) to demonstrate that for them and show it to them? (13:34) This is so important.

(13:36) And I think for you, right, (13:39) as you're sitting here reflecting right now, (13:41) I wanted to share that very personal story (13:43) to let you understand that somebody (13:45) who is a wealth creator, (13:47) who goes out there, you work very hard, (13:49) you're grinding in tech to build the wealth. (13:52) You have this fear for your children. (13:55) There are different ways that you can go (13:58) and interact with the world, (13:59) regardless of where you've come from.

(14:01) There's opportunities like this, (14:03) trips that are there for you to go (14:07) and create this kind of impact (14:09) so that you can show your children (14:12) that as a wealth builder, as a wealth creator, (14:15) you want to reward this contribution. (14:17) You want to help other types of charitable organizations. (14:21) And there's also ways that your children (14:23) can participate and make an impact.

(14:25) Let's talk a little bit about lessons and legacy. (14:28) I've created this four-part framework (14:30) so that you can really start thinking through (14:33) what are the different types of opportunities (14:36) and what are the experiences that you can give your kids (14:40) to fight entitlement? (14:42) Because the reality is going on a service trip (14:46) to Uganda and Africa is incredibly powerful, (14:48) but there's more ways to do this. (14:50) There's ways that you can actually do this from home.

(14:53) And I want to give you some ideas on how you can do that. (14:56) And then there's also ways that you can leverage your wealth (14:59) and you can actually take a trip (15:01) where you're helping out a nonprofit, (15:04) but also creating impact for your family. (15:06) So let's break it down right now.

(15:08) What are sort of these four steps (15:10) that I have in this four-part framework of lessons and legacy? (15:14) So number one is it's so important (15:16) to teach a global perspective. (15:20) We do live in a bubble. (15:22) We're blessed.

(15:23) We have a world of abundance. (15:26) When you walk into our supermarkets (15:28) and you see how much food that we have available, (15:31) it's literally overwhelming. (15:33) It's so important that we have the opportunity (15:35) to teach and expose our kids (15:37) to what is the struggle in other parts of the world, (15:41) exposing them to extreme poverty (15:43) where people are even struggling for food.

(15:47) One of the things that I did early on (15:49) is we would have these entitled moments with my kids (15:53) and they'd be wanting X, Y, or Z. (15:56) I would go and leverage YouTube (15:58) and I would go and preview some videos of having... (16:03) There's some very powerful videos there. (16:05) I'll try to find some and link them in the show notes (16:07) of where you hear other kids in other parts of the world (16:12) talking about poverty and how it affects them (16:15) and how it makes them feel. (16:17) That is so important for kids to be able to see (16:20) other children that are like them (16:22) that they're able to relate to (16:25) and hear about their different experiences.

(16:28) This reminds me of a very powerful quote (16:31) from my last guest, Ron Diamond, (16:34) on the previous episode, 100, (16:37) that I think is why I give my kids a global perspective. (16:42) Ron said, (16:44) I used to think that happy people were grateful. (16:47) I realized that grateful people are happy.

(16:51) That all of a sudden I realized this is why I do this. (16:54) I give my kids a global perspective (16:56) to see what they have so that they become grateful. (17:00) Grateful people are happy.

(17:02) We know this now. (17:03) It's scientifically proven that people who have gratitude, (17:07) who do gratitude journaling, (17:09) are generally gonna be happier. (17:11) When you think about all the discontent, (17:15) all the depression that people are struggling with nowadays, (17:18) plenty of it can be attuned to the fact (17:20) that they're just not grateful (17:21) for the things that they do have.

(17:24) Giving my kids a global perspective, (17:27) inviting them to see beyond their comfort zone, (17:30) that's a big thing for our family. (17:31) We say that Nelsons do hard things. (17:33) We wanna wire it in their programming (17:36) that they want to be comfortable getting uncomfortable (17:41) because that's where growth is.

(17:44) I also believe the converse, (17:45) which is comfort is a slow death, right? (17:49) Is that there's going to be no growth (17:50) if you're surrounded by comfort all the time. (17:53) And there's no better way (17:54) to get outside of your comfort zone (17:56) than to embrace a global perspective. (18:00) It's also a wonderful way (18:02) to explore the world's rich tapestry.

(18:05) We just literally got back (18:07) from our second service trip a couple of weeks ago (18:11) from the Dominican Republic. (18:14) And there, while the boys were serving (18:16) in a local school during the day, (18:18) hosting a spelling bee, (18:20) painting a mural on the wall, (18:22) my wife and I and another couple (18:24) were actually pouring concrete floors for another family. (18:28) In the evening, we would come back (18:30) to the house that we were staying in.

(18:32) And the boys would be playing stickball (18:35) in the street with the neighbors. (18:36) We'd be eating delicious local food, (18:39) playing dominoes, dancing bachata. (18:42) We were in a community who was appreciative of us (18:46) learning and contributing.

(18:48) And we got to enjoy this great cross-cultural moment (18:53) that you can't have anywhere else. (18:55) It was absolutely beautiful. (18:56) But that would not have been possible (18:59) if we wouldn't have embraced the global perspective (19:01) and embraced getting uncomfortable in this.

(19:06) Number two, very important. (19:08) You want to model philanthropy as impact investing. (19:12) So as a portfolio CEO, (19:15) you're running your micro family office, (19:18) you're an investor.

(19:19) Well, I no longer think of philanthropy (19:22) as charitable giving. (19:25) What I think of it as impact investing. (19:28) How am I investing in companies (19:31) that are creating exponential impact in the world? (19:34) That's so important.

(19:36) When I think about the next generation, (19:38) my sons managing my wealth, (19:40) I want them to be able to see this as impact (19:45) into making positive change in the world, (19:49) contributing to impact (19:52) that is more than just the dollars. (19:56) And part of that has to do with showing up. (19:58) One of the things I know that James Harrington of the UWP (20:03) talks about is that it's so powerful (20:06) when donors show up in Uganda (20:08) to be a face for who we are in the United States, (20:13) working, contributing to this change in a different country (20:16) to be able to receive the thanks, (20:18) to be able to go in (20:20) and have our kids play with their kids.

(20:23) It creates a real physical bond. (20:28) And if you can transform this act of giving (20:33) into also an investment lesson, (20:35) meaning that I want my boys, (20:38) I want myself to be looking for organizations (20:41) that I want to give to charitably (20:44) that are truly managing my investment very well. (20:48) I don't just want to dump my dollars (20:50) into some large organization (20:52) and I don't know where it goes, (20:54) but go follow it through, see the impact, (20:57) think like an investor.

(20:58) Because the reality is I think of the impact (21:03) as of the dollars that I provide, (21:05) how many lives are touched? (21:07) How many lives are changed? (21:09) And I think in this modern era of data and analytics (21:13) in the way that I've seen a lot of nonprofits performing, (21:17) there is a real way to do that. (21:19) And showing your kids this value chain (21:22) of where all of your hard work (21:24) and your decision to invest for impact (21:27) and then going and seeing the result of it, (21:30) that's where all of a sudden the light comes on. (21:32) And they realize that money (21:34) is just not this tool for consumption.

(21:37) Money is this tool to create impact. (21:40) And I'll tell you when they see it, (21:42) they want to give more. (21:44) After going and participating in the Gone in Water project (21:47) and then in the latest project we just participated in, (21:51) my boys are more interested in giving than ever before (21:54) because they've seen the smiles on the faces.

(21:58) They've seen the physical reward (22:00) of what the work of great organizations (22:02) can do to create impact. (22:04) And that's infectious. (22:06) And that's more infectious than going and buying (22:10) the latest set of Pokemon cards, right? (22:13) They know it's just gonna give them joy for a moment, (22:16) but being able to reflect on the fact (22:17) that they're changing somebody's lives, (22:19) that becomes infectious.

(22:21) That's very powerful. (22:22) So model philanthropy is impact investing. (22:26) Then third is encouraging problem solving.

(22:30) There are a lot of problems in the world, let's face it. (22:33) And I know as wealth creators, (22:36) as micro-family office managers, (22:38) as we're looking around (22:39) and we see a lot of turmoil in the market, (22:42) turmoil in the world, (22:44) we realize there's big problems that need to be solved. (22:46) There's big problems that are gonna impact (22:48) the next generation, whether it's climate, (22:51) whether it's plastics, whether it's energy, (22:53) big hairy problems.

(22:55) Well, when you show them (22:58) how these impact investing companies, right? (23:01) How the Ugandan Water Project is literally (23:05) setting up what could equate to a utility company in Uganda (23:09) to create water, (23:10) not just to go install a well and walk away, (23:13) but to install a well, to partner with the community (23:16) that then supports its parent company to come, (23:20) or sorry, its partner company (23:21) to come along and service that well, (23:23) to keep it in service. (23:25) And then thinking about upgrades (23:26) so they can bring taps to homes, right? (23:29) When you partner with innovative companies (23:31) and you see how they're solving these problems, (23:34) not just for today, (23:37) but for tomorrow and then for forever, (23:40) that then gives children hope. (23:44) It gives them a vision of how the world (23:47) leveraging dollars in contribution (23:51) can actually create a greater impact beyond them (23:54) and encourages them to partner with other companies, (23:58) to leverage technology, to really go after (24:01) and solve these problems.

(24:04) And then more than anything, (24:06) I'd say number four is it reinforces (24:09) the intention behind wealth. (24:11) The why in your wealth is the anchor. (24:15) When money is just there (24:17) and without any type of focus, (24:20) it can drift into ego.

(24:22) It can drift into what I need. (24:24) But when you give it a purpose (24:26) and you have a laser focus for your family (24:29) that we're a portion of our dollars (24:31) is going to contribution (24:33) to these particular impact investment companies, (24:37) and we wanna go see the impact (24:39) and we wanna be a part of this. (24:41) We wanna do physical work or mental work.

(24:45) We wanna help move its mission forward. (24:48) That's where then all of a sudden (24:49) you create this cycle of legacy. (24:53) And so teaching global perspectives is number one.

(24:57) Model philanthropy is impact investing number two. (25:01) Encourage problem solving (25:02) and then reinforce the intention behind your wealth. (25:07) These are these four principles (25:09) that if you enact those (25:10) and you focus those at things (25:12) that are passionate to you, (25:14) that are related to you and your family, (25:16) what you're going to unlock there (25:18) is you're going to unlock a lot of empathy.

(25:21) You're gonna unlock a vision and a mission on your wealth (25:25) that is going to leave entitlement, (25:28) leave consumption behind. (25:30) And it's going to change your kids' lives. (25:34) So ultimately your task is to be a money manager.

(25:38) I talk about this, right? (25:39) You wanna talk about this in the architect phase (25:42) of your wealth when you're thinking of (25:43) what you want your wealth to do for you, (25:46) but you're also thinking about (25:47) what you want it to do for the next generation. (25:50) And you'll find that a lot of (25:52) ultra high net worth individuals, (25:55) a lot of families that you know (25:57) are participating in charitable giving, (26:01) involved in philanthropy (26:03) are doing this not just for themselves, (26:05) not just because it's a great tax benefit, (26:07) because they also know how it is going to impact (26:11) the next generation and give them a vision (26:14) that's beyond just raw consumption, (26:16) but it's going to allow them to see that (26:19) this wealth is a tool to impact (26:22) greater change in the world (26:23) that they need to be a part of. (26:27) It's a call to action.

(26:29) Make it personal. (26:30) That's exactly why we did this (26:32) if we wanted to go down there. (26:33) We wanted them to know Alphonse and Marvin (26:38) and Lido and different people that they know by name.

(26:42) They have photos with some of them (26:45) they're friends with on the iPads (26:50) and they're able to communicate with them (26:51) and they have some different conversations (26:54) so that they're creating this (26:56) connective tissue across the globe. (26:57) All of this, if you execute these, (27:00) I wanna take a few minutes (27:02) and I wanna talk about (27:02) what are some of the hidden benefits (27:04) that you don't expect. (27:07) When we went and did this, (27:09) you'll find that get to know me on this podcast (27:13) and for those of you who listen, (27:14) who know myself and my wife, (27:16) we look before we leap (27:18) with a lot of things and challenges with our family, (27:21) whether it's physical challenges (27:22) or whether it's sometimes taking on new tasks (27:26) or different things.

(27:27) When we saw this opportunity to go to Uganda, (27:30) we were compelled to go (27:33) because we knew that there was gonna be some change (27:35) that came out of it. (27:36) So with these transformational family experiences, (27:39) one of the most beautiful things that it creates, (27:42) that for you as a father, as a mother, as a guardian, (27:46) as somebody who is overseeing raising children, (27:49) it creates these shared experience family moments (27:54) that become etched in your memory. (27:56) And sometimes it's crazy things (27:58) that happen in the travel.

(28:00) Like, oh, hey, we had this one son (28:02) who at one moment totally got sick on the airplane (28:06) and people had to dive in and help. (28:09) And you remember these random moments, (28:11) but you also remember the very beautiful moments (28:14) of when, hey, we were playing with these kids (28:19) and they said, hey, thank you for coming all this way (28:22) and helping us. (28:22) We didn't believe that you would ever come (28:25) or we didn't know that we'd ever see anybody like you.

(28:29) Or I can't wait to go back (28:31) and I wanna be a part of helping again (28:33) and I wanna go see my friend again. (28:35) These shared family experiences are so important (28:40) as a family so that you can have this imprint (28:42) of something that is truly and uniquely special (28:45) because it's not that you're, (28:48) and again, there's nothing wrong with my family (28:50) and I were not, and my wife told me this the other day (28:52) is she heard me talking about these trips. (28:54) Like, hey, we don't want people to think (28:56) like we're different.

(28:57) Like we take vacations, like we go and we relax (29:00) and we unplug and we go to Europe (29:03) and we do things that we relax and enjoy ourselves. (29:06) So we're not trying to say that we're better (29:08) than anybody else, but this is part of our ethos (29:11) because we realize as people that have come into wealth (29:14) that didn't have it, that we want to make sure (29:17) and show our children leveraging our wealth, (29:20) how they can then also be the stewards of this impact, (29:24) how this is something that, (29:25) and we're very intentional. (29:27) We want to pass on this baton, (29:28) this work that we're doing with the Ugandan Water Project.

(29:31) We want you to continue this work. (29:33) If anything ever happens to us, (29:34) we want you to still continue to contribute (29:37) and to participate in this organization. (29:40) Those are the types of things that we do (29:42) because the thing to me, like the hidden benefits are (29:47) then you have empathy.

(29:48) I remember that we were notified (29:50) by one of our teachers in school (29:52) after the boys had gone to Uganda (29:55) when she was sharing some type of a lesson with the kids. I can't remember the specific details, but what came out of it is she was trying to explain to the kids that yes, there are homes and places where people do not have water or toilets inside of their homes, and the kids were honestly in disbelief, but at that moment, my son raised his hand and he said, hold on a second guys, I've been there, I've seen that, and what she's saying is true, and I can bring you some of the photos and help you get your heads around this, but the teacher relayed to us that it was a very powerful moment for her and for the kids, because it wasn't this big disconnect of, oh, a teacher's saying this and we don't know it's real, when one of their peers raised their hands and said, I'm a witness, all of a sudden that changed everybody's perspective to like, oh, okay, I think that's true, and I think for myself, having my son being able to realize that context, realize that it was important to share that is really important for us in sort of our family values that we want to also be champions of the global perspective, help people understand how to think globally and act locally, and when you're thinking about fighting entitlement, entitlement in today's day and age can look like kids feeling like they deserve the latest electronics, whether it's buying things, not understanding the value of money, demanding things, when you get them outside of their day-to-day and when all of a sudden they see a simple side of life, right, when we were just in the Dominican Republic and, you know, rarely any child had a device out there and the kids were out there literally playing what we used to play in the streets, stick ball, where you'd literally have a stick, you'd have a ball made of tape and you were, you know, creating little bases out of, you know, jugs or whatever there was, these boys start realizing like we don't need all this stuff to be happy, like we can go and play and be kids and when you're unplugging them from those moments, right, then all of a sudden we're witnessing that, you know, take off and there's just a resurgence and a reminder to the kids of what life, you know, it truly is.

Ultimately, we want to be able to show our kids like, hey, we have this abundance of wealth and I think what it means to us is it means stewardship, being responsible, that we want to continue to invest and manage our micro family office so that we can provide for the family for multiple generations, but it does align with our values, that is rewarding contribution, whether that's contribution to the family or contribution to the community, whether that's local or global, that's to be rewarded. Same with creativity, right, if you're wanting to create a business that's going to solve problems, that is going to, you know, help disrupt an industry's, you know, solve or move things forward, that's so important, but we want to make sure that there's clarity that this isn't for raw consumption, like that is off the table and that's not something that we're writing to in our state plan and will that we're going to be rewarding that. And so one of the, again, the benefits of this is just the fact that we are helping build the character of our children by giving them these global experiences and ultimately the return on investment was the connection, was the fact that now and we're making our plans as we're trying to now plan and be very intentional about our travel, we're looking to go back to Uganda this October and then we're going to go back to the Dominican Republic the following March because we want to create relationships and I think, you know, I got this from my friend Maurice Filajin who talks about not going, you can go broad in the world and you can go explore different places, but don't forget to go deep, don't forget to pick some places to create deep relationships because one of the things I think that's going to be able to defeat and eradicate entitlement in my family is when they have friends of different economic statuses, of different experiences, of different countries that are their true friends that they can relate to, that they realize that they can be sources of impact in their lives, that's ultimately what we're looking for and I think I want to just sort of wrap it up with this and I know this was a pretty emotionally intense episode and I think it should be, right, when we're reflecting on this and this is one of the reasons I think that peoplem don't talk about a lot, the fact, okay, I don't want to raise my kids in title, is it, yeah, like you're going to some emotional depths of fears but the reality is is that the solution can bring you more joy and more fun than maybe you ever thought.

I mean, when I remember, you know, just recently fresh memories of, you know, dancing bachata, you know, being out there with my family late at night, you know, in a nice warm evening in the Dominican Republic, music playing, neighbors, everybody smiling, have a good time, like it, after a hard day of work where we literally helped this community and they were just, we're just all having fun together, that was an amazing moment and it can be difficult but let me tell you, what is the ROI? What's the return on the investment of doing this? It's the connection, it's the creating real relationship in global community that's across the globe, that's different than you are but I know right now, whether it's Uganda or whether it's Dominican Republic, having just been there once, I know people that I built relationships with that I showed up on their front doorstep, they'd be like, come on in the house brother, where's the family? Come on in and I feel the same way about them, right? And that's the true ROI is creating these deeper relationships, creating this relational fabric across the planet because that's the bigger vision for me is like, if I can leave my sons with a legacy of this relational fabric across the planet, then that's where we as wealth managers, you know, of our family wealth is we realize that the benefit of this wealth is not something to be ashamed of, it's actually something that we need to focus and use to create impact because like anything else with, you know, this responsibility, you know, you have to focus it and you have to make sure that you're intentional with it so that you're moving towards the result that you want. Okay, I know that was an intense episode. Here we are.

If you want to know more, I've also written an article. If you go to managing techmillions.com on Substack, you'll find an article that I wrote that was posted a couple weeks ago that you can go find out and then I'll link that in the show notes of this particular episode. Any questions that you have, if you are on the email list, just hit reply.

I'm happy to answer those questions, but my encouragement to you is continue to get educated on how to manage your wealth, but also continue to get educated on how you're going to leave the imprint for the next generation and whatever it is, don't be afraid to ask the hard questions because that's what we do on Managing Tech Millions every week and I'll see you next week.